


My Cat From Hell

by whatrp



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Other, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatrp/pseuds/whatrp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John brings home a furry little surprise for his lovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Cat From Hell

Oh hell no.  
No no no no.  
What the hell was John thinking?  
The young man in question smiled sheepishly at his lovers, a small cat held tight in his arms, looking defiantly at the two men who stood gawking in front of him.  
“John.” Dave was the first to speak, looking from the cat to the man, expression hidden behind the shades he constantly wore. “What is that?”  
“A cat.” John replied simply, looking away, refusing to meet the other two’s gazes. The kitten in his arms mewled.  
“Well what the fuck is it doing here?” Karkat spat, glaring at the creature. If they were caught with that thing in their apartment, they’d be kicked out for sure. The landlord had a strict no-pets policy, no exceptions, no forgiveness. The cat hissed when Karkat approached it, and he glared in return.  
“I found it on my way home from school.” John said with slight shrug, “And it looked so helpless…” He trailed off, mouth slightly agape when he looked up to see Karkat’s eyes narrow dangerously and Dave’s eyebrows shoot up over his shades.  
“H-Hey! I couldn’t just leave it out there!” He said, defensive, snuggling the tiny feline closer. The little thing mewed pitifully and bumped it’s head into John’s shirt, stretching it’s paws to bunch the fabric and begin kneading. Dave made a little ‘aw’ noise, and Karkat whipped his head back, giving the blond man an incredulous look.  
“Don’t encourage him!” He hissed. He ignored John’s pained gasp as the man quickly pulled the cat away from his shirt to avoid the sharp kitten claws that had sunk straight to his skin. Dave just shrugged.  
“C’mon, Karkat, don’t be such a damn stick in the mud.” Dave said, stepping to the man with the kitten, resting one large hand on the creature’s head. It headbutted him. “The little guy needs a home.”  
“Yeah, but it can’t be here!” Karkat responded, wrinkling his nose as the little cretin actually began to purr.  
“But look how cute he is!” John said, smiling brightly, running his fingers through the cat’s fur. “Can’t we just keep him for tonight, at least? I’ll bring him to the shelter tomorrow after school.”  
Karkat sighed, unable to resist the sparkle in his boyfriend’s eyes, the pleading look in their depths.  
“Are you kidding?” Karkat groaned, bringing one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Ugh. Fine! But you’re taking it to the shelter- tomorrow.” He gave the two men a short, annoyed shake of the head, and John’s smile widened even further than Karkat had ever thought possible. John laughed and began to bounce in place, causing the little devil in his arms to awkwardly straighten and scratch it’s way out of his grip. There was a soft ‘thunk’ as the cat landed. It casually transitioned to a yawn, then sat and began to lick at it’s paws.  
“Looks like he’s comfortable.” Dave observed, casually slipping one arm around John’s shoulders and resting his chin in the messy black hair. John smiled and reached up to grab Dave’s hand. Karkat could not believe how much they looked like a married couple, sappily marveling over a newly conceived child. It was enough to make him visibly grimace. Dave, though, spotted Karkat’s disgusted movement, and reached out with his free arm.  
“You lonely over there, Karkles?” Dave asked. John snorted and smacked at Dave’s hand.  
Karkat simply rolled his eyes, glancing up to the clock on the wall. "Hey. Don't you two have work or something?"  
"Oh shit, right." Dave said, releasing his hold on John to go slip into his work clothes. John laughed at Dave's frantic movement, and Karkat couldn't help but crack a small smile at the sound. He loved the man's laughter. In fact, he was probably addicted to it. He was like a druggie, and John's laugh was his own personal dose of cocaine.  
As soon as Dave was in the bedroom getting dressed, John stepped over to Karkat. "Think you'll be okay watching the little guy until we get back?"  
"I'm not that incompetent, John. I can look after a simple kitten." Karkat responded, allowing annoyance to drip into his voice.  
"I know, just making sure." John responded, moving to wrap his arms around the taller man's neck. A kiss was planted on the grumbling man's cheek, causing his face to flush crimson. It was so easy to make Karkat blush- a fact he’d jealously guarded since he was a small child. But Karkat simply sighed and rested his hands at John’s hips, pulling the man tight against his body. John smiled and quickly pressed their mouths together, molding his lips to Karkat’s in the sweetest way. It made Karkat light-headed.  
"Aw, where's my love?" A voice from the doorway interrupted the two, causing them to part their lips but keep their bodies close. Dave was casually leaning against the doorframe to the living room, sporting a smirk as he watched the two behind his dark shades.  
"Wait your turn, jackass." Karkat responded, swooping down to capture John’s lips once more. The shorter man smiled into the kiss, causing quite a bit of clattering teeth- John started to giggle uncontrollably, bubbly laughter leaking from the sides of his mouth and humming through his chest. Karkat pulled away in exasperation.  
“John!” He reprimanded, trying his best to keep a stern face while John started to giggle even harder, burying his face in Karkat’s chest and bringing their bodies flush against one another. Karkat went beet red, embarrassed with the intimacy of the situation and with the effort of trying to suppress a sheepish chuckle that was currently boiling in him-  
“Dibs.” Suddenly, Dave was on Karkat’s lips, sandwiching John between their embraces. The two men’s styles were much different- John led his kisses by tender pecks that built to passion, but Dave opened the floodgates with a sort of firm control. Already, he was throwing in some gentle lip biting. Karkat grumbled, surprise ebbing from him, and he leaned into Dave’s kiss, trying to gain some semblance of control. Their mouths moved in unison, and Karkat jammed his tongue between Dave’s teeth before they were interrupted-  
“Um.” John shifted between the two, trying to wiggle away from the aggressive kissing going on over his head, “Guys?.. I’d rather watch the sloppy makeouts than be crushed to death by them!” Dave chuckled at John’s indignant tone, pulling away after one final nibble around Karkat’s bottom lip.  
Karkat grumbled and released his hold on his two boyfriends, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest, hip popping out in the sassiest way possible. “Yeah. Get to work, fuckers. We need the money.”  
John and Dave both laughed at Karkat’s posture and nodded their heads, each in turn stepping forward to place gentle goodbye kisses upon the black-haired man’s lips. Dave slid his hand into John’s and led the way out the door, John turning back to wave at Karkat. The man half-heartedly waved back, a small smile playing on his lips when both of them had gone, door sliding shut behind them.  
Watching the two men leave sent an unexpected surge of affection through Karkat. It was in these moments, when they left him to himself after whirling through the rooms and blowing out the door in a hurry, when he realized he really did love them more than anything. They got on his nerves sometimes, as most everyone and everything was prone to do- but they always made him smile. Even if it was just a small curve of the lips, unlikely noticeable to anyone else. His heart fluttered around them, and he was always genuinely happy in their company. His life seemed complete with the two of them around- Not that he would ever say such a thing out loud.  
A loud, brash meow brought his attention back to the little creature whose existence Karkat had been ignoring for the past few minutes. He turned to it and glared, earning an indignant hiss from the small feline. So he did what any reasonable person would do, and retaliated with his own spiteful hiss.  
The kitten growled in response, narrowing its eyes and taking a quick step forward, fur bristling, probably trying to appear threatening. Karkat scoffed at this display and took a step forward himself, letting the little cretin know that this was his house, and he’d be damned if some cat came in and challenged his unquestionable Alpha status.  
The little beast flattened its ears, hunching toward the ground and staring at Karkat with newly dilated pupils. It paused for a moment, haunches playfully wriggling in the air, before launching itself at him. It clung to his leg with tiny claws that dug through his jeans and pricked his skin. A surprised yelp tore through Karkat's throat and he stumbled backward, crashing into the couch and gracelessly falling to the floor. The cat held tight to his leg and began to kick with its back feet, its claws scraping against his pants.  
"Get off of me!" Kakat yelled at the cat, grabbing at it’s frenzied body. The little kitten was fast though, Karkat gave it that much. It pounced onto his shoulder and tried to bite him, which had Karkat in a roaring fury. He did, though, make a conscious effort to be careful; the last thing he wanted to do was hurt the cretin. He was pissed, but he wasn't cruel.  
The cat glared at him with what could only be described as mocking eyes, silently taunting him. Its claws were still sunk deep into his shoulder, and Karkat took the opportunity to reach out and grab it again, finding its scruff and holding tightly. The cat hissed and spat when he pulled it away from his body, squirming as it scratched at his hand. A good swipe had Karkat hissing in pain and dropping the kitten, which landed on its feet and scampered onto the couch, growling.  
"Get back here!" Karkat growled back, getting to his feet. He just wanted to catch the kitten and lock it in the bathroom or something until Dave and John returned from work. The cat jumped from the couch and skittered across the room, Karkat cursing and chasing after it. The furry creature launched itself at the curtains and clawed up, Karkat swearing profusely after it  
"You little fucker, you'll ruin the curtains! Get the fuck down here!” Karkat shouted, grabbing the cat around the middle, only to have it rapidly scoot up the fabric, leaving little tears for light to leak through. It quickly reached the top, just out of Karkat’s reach, and tried to scramble onto the bar holding the curtains up. Karkat continued to curse loudly, jumping and stretching to try and grab the furry little monster, only to have it wrench the bar from the wall with it’s meddling and have the entire set-up come crashing down on him- Cat-first. He gasped, then yelled in confusion as the beast gave a surprised mew and fell right into his hair.  
“Holy fuck!” Karkat screeched, trying to subdue the monster, which was now thrashing about- It fell from Karkat’s hair, claws out on the way down, catching against the the man’s sweater. The nails sunk through to his back and he jerked forward, bringing the cat with him as he slammed to the floor, belly-flopping to the carpet with a painful thump.  
“Dammit.. Cat!” Karkat groaned. The creature stayed on his back, stunned, until Karkat reached back to grab at it. He finally managed to catch it, his fingers curling around its scruff, causing it to freeze almost instantly. "Finally got you, dammit."  
The kitten observed him through narrowed eyes, as though it was cursing him as well. Karkat simply growled and slowly rose to his feet, his body aching from his hard impact with the floor.  
Now, what to do with the little beast. Karkat just needed a place where it would stay out of trouble until John and Dave returned- The bathroom would probably be the best option. Karkat groaned as he began to walk towards the small apartment bathroom, cat in his arms, hand clasped securely around its scruff. A faint mewl escaped its mouth, a sound designed to arouse pity, but Karkat didn't fall for it. He opened the door to the bathroom and placed the kitten inside before quickly shutting the door, a sigh of relief passing through his lips when the creature was finally subdued.  
More meows could be heard through the door, and Karkat frowned. What if it was thirsty, or hungry? Karkat couldn't simply neglect it; it was still a living creature after all, even if it had destroyed his curtains.  
Karkat grumbled and made his way into the kitchen, getting two small bowls. He filled one with water and rummaged around the fridge for something appropriate to feed a cat. He found a can of tuna, and figured that would do pretty well. He emptied the can into the bowl and returned to the bathroom, both dishes in hand. He quickly opened the door and moved inside, making sure the cat had no chance to escape. Placing the bowls on the floor he muttered, "Here." Another thought occurred to him.  
"If you piss in here, I swear i'll turn you into a nice pair of fluffy mittens."  
The cat sniffed at the food before greedily taking a bite and nearly swallowing the entire portion whole. Karkat shook his head in disgust. Animals really had no manners. He exited the bathroom as quickly as he had entered, closing the door firmly behind him.  
"What a pain in the ass." Karkat grumbled, immediately heading for the couch so he could take a nap or something.  
When he awoke a few hours later, it was to the sound of a door closing and voices cooing overhead. He slowly blinked his eyes open and looked into his boyfriends’ faces, both of them staring at him with adoration. Karkat’s brows furrowed in confusion. Why were they staring at him like that?  
“Karkat, this is just too precious! I knew you’d like the kitten.” John smiled, his eyes shifting from Karkat’s bewildered face to his stomach. Karkat followed the gaze to find a fuzzball curled up on his lap, nose buried in its paws and purring innocently. Karkat’s mouth gaped open.  
“Wh-what, when, how?” Karkat stuttered, sitting up slightly to stare at the little devil curled on his stomach. The cat opened an eye and seemed to smirk at Karkat, knowing it had outwitted him and played on the emotions of Dave and John, which would probably convince them to keep the damn thing. “You little shit.” Karkat muttered as the cat closed its eyes again, kneading his stomach lightly and nuzzling its head into his shirt.  
Karkat blinked as he felt warmth flood him, the little kitten successfully playing on his emotions as well. It was cute. Dammit.  
“We’re keeping this cat.” John stated, nodding his head as he observed one of his lovers and the cat, affectionate smile on his face. Karkat looked to John and scowled.  
“Fine.”  
The cat suddenly purred louder, probably knowing he had successfully enchanted the three men into keeping him. John’s smile widened and he walked forward, reaching out to fondly scratch the cat’s ears. With a furtive glance to the side, his smile turned to a sheepish grin, and his other hand trailed to Karkat’s head. He gave the man a quick scratch behind the ears as well.  
“Hm...Whatdya say we name the little guy Karkitty, huh Karkat?” John chuckled, poking Karkat’s cheek.  
“No way in fucking hell.” Karkat responded in a monotonous voice, looking at John with unamused eyes.  
“Okay, okay, fine.” John said, instantly shrinking from Karkat’s hard gaze, “Just joking, you jerk! But, we really should come up with a name for him.”  
“How about Whiskers?” Dave suggested, causing both men to look at him with raised eyebrows and expressions of amused skepticism.  
“Dave, you absolute dork. He needs something more manly than that.” John giggled.  
Dave raised his hands in defense, “Hey, it was just a suggestion.”  
“A dumb one.” Karkat said, causing Dave to turn his head in his direction and fix him with a hidden glare.  
“Hm...what about something like, I dunno, Jack?” John said offhandedly, fingers resting against his chin as he looked up thoughtfully.  
Dave and Karkat glanced at one another and slowly nodded their heads, testing out the name a few times.  
“Alright.”  
“Sounds good to me.”  
John smiled, glad his name hadn’t been shot down like he’d been expecting. “Little Jack.”  
The kitten’s head rose in response, sensing that a name had been given to him. He sniffed once in disinterest and went back to sleeping, kneading at Karkat’s stomach with his paws. Karkat winced when tiny claws came out and dug into his skin.  
“So cute.” John cooed, petting Jack a couple of times before glancing up at Karkat. “And so are you.” he said, planting a kiss on Karkat’s forehead.  
Karkat blushed a furious shade of red, muttering something about John being embarrassing and lightly pushing him away. John laughed and next turned to Dave, standing on his toes to leave similar kiss on his forehead. “And you. All three of you are just a bunch of cuties.”  
“Oh, yeah?” Dave chuckled lowly, leaning down to slide one arm around John’s knees and scoop the slender man into his arms. “Then here we have the Ultimate Cutie.”  
John resisted capture for a brief moment before giving up, knowing he could never beat Dave. He kept still as Dave lumbered over to the couch Karkat was lying on, settling by his feet and holding John in his lap. Neither one complained.  
The three of them glanced to the kitten when he began to purr again.  
“Well, we said we’d never get a cat. Yet here we are.” John observed with a small laugh, his boyfriends nodding in agreement.  
“...But, how the hell are we going to keep this from the landlord?”  
The men shared a silence. After a ponderous while, Karkat broke the quiet by presenting a matter-of-fact statement: “Fuck the landlord.” John and Dave stared at him for a long, surprised second. Dave snorted and started to chuckle, John quickly following suit. Soon all three of them had an incurable case of the giggles, and every time they tried to calm down, one would start laughing again. Karkat began swearing up a storm over his aching sides, cursing at them to stop laughing, which only served to make them laugh harder, Dave pounding the back of the couch and John clutching his sides in ridiculous mirth. They ended up spending a few hours in and out of gentle laughter, finding time for casual, unwinding conversation, all curled on the couch with their new cat. It had been a while since they’d all sat down like this, and, despite the curtain being knocked down and the bruises forming from when he fell, Karkat silently thanked litte Jack for his meddling. Even if owning a cat would be a pain in the ass, it felt like a final coat of cement. They were a real family now, and this was undeniable proof. The thought caused an unbidden warm swell though Karkat’s chest.


End file.
